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pancake fun!
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If only...
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Between Merida and Cancun, Mexico
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Salmon BLT Sliders with Chipotle Mayo by howsweeteats #Salmon #Bacon #Chipotle #Sliders #howsweeteats
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Lamb Sliders with Tzatziki by fotocuisine #Lamb #Sliders #fotocuisine
The STD No One Wants to Talk About
But most people have….If you haven’t figured it out by now I have HPV – Human Papillomavirus. This is an STD that unless you are a virgin sleeping with a virgin, you probably had or have HPV. Most people don’t even know they have it! There are hundreds of strains of HPV, the most well known are the ones that cause genital warts or cervical cancer. My biggest issue with this Sexual Transmitted Infection is that the only time you probably have heard about it is when you’ve seen a Gardasil commercial but are still left knowing nothing about it. So I thought I would give you a few facts so you know for the next time you climb into bed with someone.
Do you know that there are over 6 million new cases of HPV each year with approximately 20 million Americans that are infected at any time? An estimated 80% of the population having been infected during their life with about 12 thousand women (per year) being diagnosed with cervical cancer. HPV usually clears on its own (it’s a virus, so just like most colds, it goes away) so if you only see a doctor once a year, you may never know you had it. The only way to prevent HPV is to abstain from sexuality activity. But there is a vaccine! I actually got Gardasil (a series of 3 shots) which prevents 90% cases of genital warts in both women and men, and 70% cases of cervical cancer. I personally think that every child should be vaccinated at age 9 (before sexually active) just like mumps or measles. If you or your children are between the ages of 9-26, please get them vaccinated because it can help! Both girl AND boys, BEFORE they become sexual active as there is no cure.
So I am sure you are wondering what the result of my biopsy was and if you haven’t figured it out, I don’t have the HPV that causes warts….instead the one that causes cancer. I wish I could say everything was fine but it is neither good nor bad. I don’t have cancer…but I do have pre-cancerous cells or to put a fun spin on something that is scary, as my OBGYN likes to call them “funky”. If I was a 40 year old woman who already had children I would be having what is called a cone biopsy or a FEEP. However, they have found that with some younger women the biopsy (since it’s such a large chunk) can make me more likely for a miscarriage or lack of conception and with my previous conditions, it is in my best interest to just watch the cells instead of remove them. We will monitor them every 6 months and it will probably lead to more biopsies. Am I frustrated? Absolutely! Please, just add another tick mark on the “not able to get pregnant” side. When I told my friend Luisa the results she asked when I would start looking into artificial insemination or if I already found a sperm donor! I couldn’t help but laugh! She knew it was going through my mind… after this, I am at a point where I just want to have a baby and then remove everything. While as tempting as it might be, it is also very selfish. I may consider it down the road closer to the age of 35, but for now, my mother got me thinking about freezing some eggs just in case I do have to have a cancer treatment down the road. We shall see… but right now I will just keep on, keep track of my funky cells so when they do turn into cancer, I can attack. Thanks to those who prayed or thought about me and to those who were there to help pick me back up. I am truly thankful for you in my life.
If anyone has any questions in regards to HPV please don’t hesitate to contact me at Kristen@KristenKady.com or anonymously here.
Update: I am absolutely amazed at the response from this and my previous post! I have had so many friends and strangers come to me with their experiences or how my openness encouraged them to go back to the doctor and get a Pap Smear they have been avoiding for fear of the results. This is the reason why I wanted to talk about it! That it isn’t anything to fear or be ashamed of. We should not be afraid of our own vagina’s! Ha ha ha! Thousands of women face this every day but you would never know since no one wants to talk about it. Thanks to everyone for the support and keep the stories coming! If you have the courage, post yours in the comments below.
Also, if you haven’t been tested in awhile, Auraria Health Center and Denver Metro Health Clinic offer FREE testing so there is NO EXCUSE!
Q&A with KK ~ 01.08.11
Question:
So I’ve met this really cool guy and we seem to be hitting it off, we spent a lot of time together recently. I’ve recently found out that he has a 4 month old son, who he is trying to get custody of. I think that’s great! Stepping up and taking responsibility, kuddos to him. My issue is I’m not getting any younger, and I’m not sure if I want to be with a guy, who has a kid. It’s not a bad thing, but I’m worried about my future, my future with him and my future with the kid. Is this something that I should be worried about?
Answer:
I don’t think worried is the right word. What you need to do, is figure out if having a child that is not yours, in your life, is an issue? If you are unsure, my gut says go for it, give it a try. The infant is young enough that he won’t get attached at this time. Even after a year of dating, the baby won’t be filled with the heart ache and loss that a walking and talking child will… but keep in mind that you might. We as adults entering into relationships that not only involve a partner, but a little one when they you not only mourn the loss of your partner, but also the child. Another question for you – are you going to be ok with being second in line, because his baby is going to be his number one priority? The only reason I would be against this relationship is that his priority right now is going to be his child. Whether it is going to court to get custody of him or spending bonding time alone, his son is going to be number one which means this might not be the right time. He is going to have to figure out what HE wants right now. If you start dating now, time will only tell. He might feel pulled in different directions between his child and you, and with this game of tug-of-war, he’s going to let go of one side, and you will just have to be prepared… because it will probably be you.
Somewhere Between My Head & My Heart
Oh the joys of sitting inside my head….Have you ever found that being by yourself having time to sit inside your head can only lead to trouble?
I did such a great job over the weekend being positive and really understanding why everything happened but it wasn’t until yesterday when I spent most of the day alone inside that I had a lot of time to sit inside my head, making matters worse. I of course have to think of all the things that I did wrong in my relationship, especially being the person I am. It is a love/hate relationship with myself. I love that I am able to psycho analyze myself but sometimes I tend to over think things (just ask Tim, we’ve had MANY conversations of my thinking going way too far that I seem to get lost) and would explain this very lengthy post!
When I had finally kicked myself out into the real world (needed a few things from the store) I was walking through the store chatting on the phone with my mother and she asked me, “Why do you always date unavailable or unobtainable men?” Wow….it was something that I never really thought of, especially with all the information that I have learned about myself throughout the years, before and after therapy. But it was true! Let’s go through the list of serious relationships.
First & third – Richard/Coulter – Unavailable by location – when we first dated, he had just turned 21 and I was 17, I couldn’t go out to all the places that he was. The second time around, he REALLY was unavailable because he was either in another state or country!
Second – Jeremy – Unavailable by religion – he was Jewish and I was not. Plain and simple, cut and dry. Let’s put it this way, even though we dated for almost 3yrs, I never met his mother.
Fourth – Tim – Unavailable by age – this one I knew and kind of planned after therapy. He was recently divorced and we were both looking for someone to learn how relationships work in a healthy way. We both knew that there was no future except in friendship, which still exists.
And Last – The Man – Unavailable by emotion – This one I knew from the moment we started dating but chose to ignore due to him having EVERYTHING else I was looking for in a man. I just figured he would warm up over time.
So of course I have to ask myself the age old question of “Why?” I think that maybe I was still “testing the waters” and trying to figure out what I am looking for in a spouse. I’ve gone through a range of men, from one end of the spectrum to the other and now know what I want and need for a partner. Now it’s just a matter of finding him.
Why the rush? I have recently been thinking about this question as well. Why am I putting such pressure on myself to get married and have a child? I think it comes from a few things as I approach my 28th birthday. The day after my recent breakup I watched the movie The Back-up Plan, starring Jennifer Lopez and Alex O’Loughlin with the synopsis being “After years of dating, Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) has decided waiting for the right one is taking too long. Determined to become a mother, she commits to a plan, makes an appointment and decides to go it alone. That same day, Zoe meets Stan (Alex O’Loughlin) a man with real possibilities.”
One of the reason’s I saw this movie was a couple years ago (after my engagement) I said that by the age of 30 I was going to have a baby with or without a man. This was a great plan for me, except for the few main problems. 1 – it is VERY selfish, 2 – I am not THAT old and 3 – I have decided to go back to school so now I wouldn’t have time for school, work and a child. I always wanted to be a young mother. My mother gave birth to me at the age of 28. She always thought of herself as an older mother, so what will that make me?
I know that 28 is still very young and that women are now getting their careers in place before getting a family. But what about me? My career won’t be up and going till my mid to late thirties. I guess I am antsy. I know what I want, how to get it and what to do with it once I get it. I would hate to have all the knowledge but never get to put it into action! I have joked that I will end up an old maid with 17 cats but the truth is, it is an actual fear.
In the mean time between now and then, I need to get back to directing my energy toward other things. It is time to start volunteering and dedicating my time to other activities and stop focusing on my lack of relationships. If you remember, I used to have a “life list” (also known as a bucket list) on my website. Well I still keep that going and since moving back to Colorado, I have added many of things that I want to do in my beautiful state. Oh, and don’t worry. You will still get your fun relationship posts as my BFF Tim has recently decided to enter the dating world, so I will have plenty of fun posts along with more bar observations!
See, spend enough time inside your head and soon enough you’ll figure it all out…at least for the time being. *smiles*
Is it all worth it in the end?
Most of you know that I have been battling the disease Endometriosis for a while, and now as I approach my 10 year anniversary of my diagnosis, I am struggling. I will forewarn you now, that if you don’t want to read about “women problems”, I would recommend that you stop reading here.
Just to recap, in 2001 I went under the knife, via laparoscopy, to have the endometrial tissues cauterized off my ovaries and other various places. After the surgery, I went through nine months of hormone therapy, using Lupron-Depot shot which was the first time that I experienced menopause. In 2008, the endometriosis started to rear its ugly head and I went through another nine month session of menopause, filled with the glorious hormone rollercoaster, hot flashes and irritability. Now here it is, 2010 and my body is deciding to change.
I have been taking birth control bills continuously for the past ten years, this means having my period only 3-4 times a year. Unfortunately it costs me an arm and a leg ($60 every 3 weeks) but never having my period means that the tissue never gets a chance to grow. The past two months have been a doozy! My hormones are out of whack; my face is breaking out, I have mood swings and the bleeding. The constant bleeding… In the past, I have been able to solve the problem by doubling up on pills or by going off of them for a week to have a full period. This solved it for about 3 days, only for it to start up again. I went to my OB-GYN and had about 6 tests done. And now I have to wait for the results. I hate waiting for results! I did hear back that my thyroid is fine and I’m not anemic but I almost wish there was something wrong, so at least I could have an answer! Instead I have to wait for the results from the biopsy hoping that they found a problem in that, but if they don’t, we begin even more tests with more waiting…
The question that I face is now and again is, is it all worth it in the end? Is the pain and frustration, the surgeries and bleeding for months on end, all worth it? Should I continue on in the hopes that my uterus will be able to able to carry a child? That my ovaries are even capable of releasing an egg? I want to be a mother more than anything, but how do I know I am supposed to give birth to a child? I know it seems silly to be under the age of 30 and questioning whether or not to get a hysterectomy, but this is a question that I ask myself all the time (usually when riding the wave of the emotional rollercoaster). My mother (who also has endometriosis) always says it’s worth it, because that is how she got me. My eyes begin to water just by writing those words. How can I ask whether or not to keep my uterus when my poor mother put her body through hell to be able to give birth to my brother and me? I know I am one of the lucky ones. My mother and many other women out there have had it much worse. I am lucky to have caught this so early in life before the repercussions of endometrial growth could have taken over my organs and possibly been forced to have an oversized uterus removed.
I don’t know what the future holds for me and my female parts, but I do know that I have to have faith and trust that everything happens for a reason. Whether I am given the wonderful gift of being able to give birth to a child made from my own genes or blessed with a baby that was born from a different womb or just being Aunt Kristen to all the little ones of family and friends, I must trust that it is worth the pain and frustration that I endure now. So now I must wait…have faith…and patience…
The Wonderful World of Dating
I made the decision back about a month ago to start dating. To be honest I really don’t look forward to this part of my journey. I know that the process to start dating always comes off as being a tedious task. You have weed out the bad before you can get to the good. It’s getting through those that will make it worth it in the end.
I once vowed that I would have a child by age 30 with or without a man in my life. The one thing that I want most is to become a mother. However school has thrown a wrench in that cogwheel of life and now I have been given the opportunity to get an education. I have also accepted the fact that maybe I will never become a mother but “Aunt Kristen” to every one of my friend’s children (for multiple reasons).
I know I am ready for the challenge. I have gone through enough cognitive therapy to learn what I looking for in life, the person I am looking for in terms of a life time partner. I am no longer looking for a father figure to my children. I am looking for someone that can be my equal in life. A man with a masculine side that also has heart and the ability to communicate. I have dated so many men with feminine qualities that usually I am the one to wear the pants in the relationship. I am ready to play a more “female” role with someone that can deal with my independence and not feel threatened by lack of needing to be dependent upon them. That male exists somewhere out in the world (as I am sure I am not the only one) but it will be a long search in order to get there.
So far the results have not been very good. I have been set up on dates with various men, some of which I have not found attractive due to lack of the ability to have an intelligent conversation along with such extreme cases as them not knowing they were attracted to the same sex or being in an open marriage.
This will probably be one of the most amusing things for you to read within my life in the next few years (besides school). I invite you to take the journey with me, through the trials and tribulations of being a single woman, one the road to achieving both self satisfaction and family, whether by school or dating.