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pancake fun!
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If only...
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Between Merida and Cancun, Mexico
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Salmon BLT Sliders with Chipotle Mayo by howsweeteats #Salmon #Bacon #Chipotle #Sliders #howsweeteats
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Lamb Sliders with Tzatziki by fotocuisine #Lamb #Sliders #fotocuisine
A Perfect Way To End The Week
While I do have a post coming soon about my biopsy results (not bad nor good) I just wanted to boast about how wonderful my weekend was and how thankful I am for friends and family! It was like every person and situation was the building block to getting me back into one piece.
It started off with Thursday night spent with Ms Gretchen who I haven’t seen in forever, and bar friend Eric. We had dinner at 8 Rivers and ended the night at our old bar IceHouse, reminding me of the good times we used to have working together. Friday night Michael and I did a lot of laughing, even though he ruined Skeeball for me (damn those natural athletes), whether he knew it or not he was the right balance of laughs (plus tickle wars) and hugs. What is it about a friends embrace that melt away any concerns? While Saturday day was rushed quickly I still got to attend my niece’s baby shower and get in some serious baby holding time with my 3 month old great niece. And after rushing back to Denver from Fort Collins, I got to see the Mrs. Colorado pageant with my boys Frank, Wesley and Gino followed by all night dancing (with some serious foot swelling). And Sunday morning breakfast with Luisa to catch up on this week’s events with an awesome Greek omelet and to top it all off… Kristen time plus an afternoon nap!
It was exactly what I needed to get my mind off such a stressful week, between the new job and biopsy results. Thank you to everyone who participated in it! I am SO thankful to have you in my life being there when I need it! Below are just a few pictures from the weekend. Should have another post here soon with the results along with more information that should be useful to everyone.
My Liver Needs a Vacation
While most people are setting New Year’s resolutions that they will most likely break within the first few weeks, I am altering my life for a different reason.
I am placing myself in an adult timeout for the next 30 days. Yep, that is right…30 days of sobriety. When everyone was out drinking it up on New Year’s Eve, I was good and home before 10:30pm however it wasn’t until the day after that I over indulged. I don’t remember everything that night but I do know that I most likely embarrassed myself at some point as well as those that I was with. I have never been a big drinker, but I would come home and have a glass of wine after work about 3 times a week. It wasn’t until working in a bar again that I started drinking more. Before I would have two glasses of wine with water, I now have found myself drinking three or four and water only at the end. Then there are the shots. I never used to do shots until working in the bar. There is only one purpose of shots, to get drunk quicker. For years I have watched people making fools of themselves in public and now I have found myself in that same place.
I am not saying that I am stumbling in and out of bars at 11am or downing bottles of wine in one sitting but I do have a habit of having a good time and end up drinking that one too many. And I noticed that it has become a pattern which needs to stop. If I can’t drink responsibly, then I shouldn’t be allowed to drink at all. I have to relearn moderation and responsibility.
If you are wondering why I am posting my “dirty laundry” on the internet, it is actually for a few reasons. One, I know that I am not alone. Others may have told themselves the same thing that I have but never stopped. Two, I know that it is going to be tough at times, like while out with friends, and I might need some support. I am looking forward to feeling “clean” on the inside. To becoming more aware of how much alcohol plays in a role in my everyday life.
I have 30 days filled with mocktails and early nights home. A special thanks to Luisa and Gretchen who I know will be there when I need them and are already supporting me on the sobriety bandwagon. So today starts the first day sans booze. I’m not sure what will happen after the 30 days but I will make sure to post a follow up.
By the way, if you are interested in giving your liver a break or working more on moderation, I found two websites!
If you are wondering if you drink too much, take the survey at Drinkers Checkup
Moderation Management is a great website about teaching you how to moderate your drinking habits.
Vegas Birthday Bash!
My oh my! Boy, I had no idea what I was in store for on my trip to Las Vegas.
It was my birthday two weeks ago and I chose to celebrate with two of my girlfriends out in Vegas! It wasn’t a milestone birthday but I needed the break. I am SO glad that we decided to do this! (By the way, it was their birthday’s just the month prior) This was my first girl trip and I have to say that we all lucked out…there was no cattiness or drama amongst us! I couldn’t have asked for better chemistry.
While I don’t believe in the saying, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” I won’t go into the details of every day as we were there for 4 days!
Luisa and I arrived just after noon on Thursday and headed straight for the Bellagio, while waiting for Catie’s flight to arrive. Have you seen the recent commercials where they surprise the kids with a trip to Disneyland? Yeah… that’s pretty much how you can describe my excitement level. It had been so long since I had taken a vacation … I felt like I could explode inside (which would probably explain all the jumping up and down). As we arrived, it was hard for me to process everything… that an entire city is made up of hotels, not office buildings. Where in a normal city, hotels are spread out over miles but here there was one connected to the next and all shopping and stores were actually IN the hotel not separate buildings. Then there was the drinking… you didn’t have to finish your glass of wine before leaving a location, you could just pick it up and take it to the next.
The first day was filled with bonding between the three ladies, running various errands and settling into our hotel. We attempted to plan out our adventure, ok, well I guess it was more ME attempting to plan out our trip then US (cut to me in the lounge with a laptop and the other two laughing at me). There was just so much to discover and squeeze into our schedule! All three of us had ideas and things we wanted to check off our to do list. Things like going down to Freemont Street, sitting in on a Las Vegas wedding, Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum, seeing a Vegas Show, you get the idea. Well, after we (I) made the list, it pretty much went out the window from there… and instead we flew by the seat of our pants (skirts). The nights were filled with wonderful dinners and drinks, club hopping with dancing and meeting new people. Days were spent in the sun drenched pool and exploring a scene that I have never experienced.
After the four days, I think we ended up crossing off over half of our list but there are still things that I didn’t get to do like actually gamble at a table or visit some of the other hotels. But we also stumbled upon other events that I never thought would happen like the VIP pool lounge at Liquid which felt like something out of MTV Spring Break, complete with bikini clad women, dancing to the bumping beats of a DJ. In the end, I wasn’t worried about getting all the items off the list because I figure it just gives me an excuse to come back next year! Well, maybe two years, because I have some serious saving of money to do before I visit next time. Who knows… maybe it can become a regular girls getaway every year… but next time I am hoping that Ms Gretchen could join us (my “twin” who couldn’t come and her birthday is the day before mine) because who knows what other trouble we could get into!
I can’t believe it took me almost two weeks to write this but I think I needed to recover… a lot. Although I had a lot of fun, I think for the next year I will enjoy my chill Denver bars like Prime Bar or Cheeky Monk to hang with friends and save the hard partying for once a year.
A Moment of Clarity
Did you ever have a moment when your eyes are finally opened for the first time and you see the world in an entirely different way? For some people it is a life threatening experience, for others it is the lost of a loved one or an event that forces them to change everything in their world. For me, my moment was at 25, right after I called off the wedding and went to therapy. I became an outgoing person wanting to see and experience life, like I was given this second chance to do something with my life. I couldn’t believe that this world was here all along and I wasn’t participating in it.
My friend Gretchen (a.k.a. Grea – My Twin) just had that moment as well… she has recently experienced this clarity in life and I couldn’t be happier for her. It has given her the ability to see different possibilities for herself. Similar to the feeling that a proud parent has of a child, I am so happy that she is lucky enough to have this moment, where others go a life time without ever getting that chance. This is an experience that I hope everyone has, that they awaken out of the rut and start living their life to the fullest. I can’t wait to hear her stories of adventure; what new paths that she may stumble upon while walking down this new road and the people she meets along the way.
I guess the reason I bring this up is I miss having that feeling. I miss that wide-eyed innocent doe feeling that gave me strength and the power to do anything. My mind has been out of kilter lately. I have had a rough two weeks (for multiple reasons) and had a craving for friends to talk to. My friends have been busy with work, out of town or just unavailable. I have had this feeling of longing to be with them, just to talk or share their company. I didn’t really get that chance to get together and the consequences proved themselves today when the ugly side of me came out.
The Man and I went to Breckenridge for the Fourth of July (the picture above taken from the drive up there). You see, I have had a craving for the mountains. To be outdoors, be one with nature, to be able to sit back and enjoy its wonderful beauty. It all makes sense now…I was looking for the healing of the outdoor world, being in a calm peaceful spot to try and re-group myself, putting the pieces back into place where they belong. While I had fun, I also had waves of insecurity and depression. I turned into “that girl”, that girl that I hate. I had built up this weekend in my head to be the one good thing that would turn my luck around, that The Man could save me from myself, but the truth is, the only one that can change my attitude… is me.
I do not like the fact that I projected my low points on The Man. I am a strong and confident women and it isn’t fair to do that to him and our relationship. Yes, a relationship isn’t always filled with laughter and fun; it is the hard times that push more growth, but why burden others because you cannot be a complete self? As long as I stay aware of my mental state then I should be ok. If I have to ask for help I will, but otherwise I will fight to stand on my own and for my happiness.
Tonight is July 4th and I am home alone and I couldn’t be better. I didn’t get to eat hot dogs or hang with my family or friends but I did get my fill of little ones and sunshine. I was given a gift of seeing a part of my state through someone else’s eyes. I need and want this time alone. As the sun sets into the darkness, it has begun to rain. I kind of take that as a sign… the sign of self cleansing. There is nothing better than sitting outside at night, drinking a glass of wine and listing to the rain; to wash away the over analyzing thoughts in your head bringing a sense of peace within ones self.
With that, I leave you with a brief sound clip of tonight and hope you can re-group and have your own moment of clarity or cleansing