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pancake fun!
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If only...
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Between Merida and Cancun, Mexico
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Salmon BLT Sliders with Chipotle Mayo by howsweeteats #Salmon #Bacon #Chipotle #Sliders #howsweeteats
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Lamb Sliders with Tzatziki by fotocuisine #Lamb #Sliders #fotocuisine
The STD No One Wants to Talk About
But most people have….If you haven’t figured it out by now I have HPV – Human Papillomavirus. This is an STD that unless you are a virgin sleeping with a virgin, you probably had or have HPV. Most people don’t even know they have it! There are hundreds of strains of HPV, the most well known are the ones that cause genital warts or cervical cancer. My biggest issue with this Sexual Transmitted Infection is that the only time you probably have heard about it is when you’ve seen a Gardasil commercial but are still left knowing nothing about it. So I thought I would give you a few facts so you know for the next time you climb into bed with someone.
Do you know that there are over 6 million new cases of HPV each year with approximately 20 million Americans that are infected at any time? An estimated 80% of the population having been infected during their life with about 12 thousand women (per year) being diagnosed with cervical cancer. HPV usually clears on its own (it’s a virus, so just like most colds, it goes away) so if you only see a doctor once a year, you may never know you had it. The only way to prevent HPV is to abstain from sexuality activity. But there is a vaccine! I actually got Gardasil (a series of 3 shots) which prevents 90% cases of genital warts in both women and men, and 70% cases of cervical cancer. I personally think that every child should be vaccinated at age 9 (before sexually active) just like mumps or measles. If you or your children are between the ages of 9-26, please get them vaccinated because it can help! Both girl AND boys, BEFORE they become sexual active as there is no cure.
So I am sure you are wondering what the result of my biopsy was and if you haven’t figured it out, I don’t have the HPV that causes warts….instead the one that causes cancer. I wish I could say everything was fine but it is neither good nor bad. I don’t have cancer…but I do have pre-cancerous cells or to put a fun spin on something that is scary, as my OBGYN likes to call them “funky”. If I was a 40 year old woman who already had children I would be having what is called a cone biopsy or a FEEP. However, they have found that with some younger women the biopsy (since it’s such a large chunk) can make me more likely for a miscarriage or lack of conception and with my previous conditions, it is in my best interest to just watch the cells instead of remove them. We will monitor them every 6 months and it will probably lead to more biopsies. Am I frustrated? Absolutely! Please, just add another tick mark on the “not able to get pregnant” side. When I told my friend Luisa the results she asked when I would start looking into artificial insemination or if I already found a sperm donor! I couldn’t help but laugh! She knew it was going through my mind… after this, I am at a point where I just want to have a baby and then remove everything. While as tempting as it might be, it is also very selfish. I may consider it down the road closer to the age of 35, but for now, my mother got me thinking about freezing some eggs just in case I do have to have a cancer treatment down the road. We shall see… but right now I will just keep on, keep track of my funky cells so when they do turn into cancer, I can attack. Thanks to those who prayed or thought about me and to those who were there to help pick me back up. I am truly thankful for you in my life.
If anyone has any questions in regards to HPV please don’t hesitate to contact me at Kristen@KristenKady.com or anonymously here.
Update: I am absolutely amazed at the response from this and my previous post! I have had so many friends and strangers come to me with their experiences or how my openness encouraged them to go back to the doctor and get a Pap Smear they have been avoiding for fear of the results. This is the reason why I wanted to talk about it! That it isn’t anything to fear or be ashamed of. We should not be afraid of our own vagina’s! Ha ha ha! Thousands of women face this every day but you would never know since no one wants to talk about it. Thanks to everyone for the support and keep the stories coming! If you have the courage, post yours in the comments below.
Also, if you haven’t been tested in awhile, Auraria Health Center and Denver Metro Health Clinic offer FREE testing so there is NO EXCUSE!
A Moment of Clarity
Did you ever have a moment when your eyes are finally opened for the first time and you see the world in an entirely different way? For some people it is a life threatening experience, for others it is the lost of a loved one or an event that forces them to change everything in their world. For me, my moment was at 25, right after I called off the wedding and went to therapy. I became an outgoing person wanting to see and experience life, like I was given this second chance to do something with my life. I couldn’t believe that this world was here all along and I wasn’t participating in it.
My friend Gretchen (a.k.a. Grea – My Twin) just had that moment as well… she has recently experienced this clarity in life and I couldn’t be happier for her. It has given her the ability to see different possibilities for herself. Similar to the feeling that a proud parent has of a child, I am so happy that she is lucky enough to have this moment, where others go a life time without ever getting that chance. This is an experience that I hope everyone has, that they awaken out of the rut and start living their life to the fullest. I can’t wait to hear her stories of adventure; what new paths that she may stumble upon while walking down this new road and the people she meets along the way.
I guess the reason I bring this up is I miss having that feeling. I miss that wide-eyed innocent doe feeling that gave me strength and the power to do anything. My mind has been out of kilter lately. I have had a rough two weeks (for multiple reasons) and had a craving for friends to talk to. My friends have been busy with work, out of town or just unavailable. I have had this feeling of longing to be with them, just to talk or share their company. I didn’t really get that chance to get together and the consequences proved themselves today when the ugly side of me came out.
The Man and I went to Breckenridge for the Fourth of July (the picture above taken from the drive up there). You see, I have had a craving for the mountains. To be outdoors, be one with nature, to be able to sit back and enjoy its wonderful beauty. It all makes sense now…I was looking for the healing of the outdoor world, being in a calm peaceful spot to try and re-group myself, putting the pieces back into place where they belong. While I had fun, I also had waves of insecurity and depression. I turned into “that girl”, that girl that I hate. I had built up this weekend in my head to be the one good thing that would turn my luck around, that The Man could save me from myself, but the truth is, the only one that can change my attitude… is me.
I do not like the fact that I projected my low points on The Man. I am a strong and confident women and it isn’t fair to do that to him and our relationship. Yes, a relationship isn’t always filled with laughter and fun; it is the hard times that push more growth, but why burden others because you cannot be a complete self? As long as I stay aware of my mental state then I should be ok. If I have to ask for help I will, but otherwise I will fight to stand on my own and for my happiness.
Tonight is July 4th and I am home alone and I couldn’t be better. I didn’t get to eat hot dogs or hang with my family or friends but I did get my fill of little ones and sunshine. I was given a gift of seeing a part of my state through someone else’s eyes. I need and want this time alone. As the sun sets into the darkness, it has begun to rain. I kind of take that as a sign… the sign of self cleansing. There is nothing better than sitting outside at night, drinking a glass of wine and listing to the rain; to wash away the over analyzing thoughts in your head bringing a sense of peace within ones self.
With that, I leave you with a brief sound clip of tonight and hope you can re-group and have your own moment of clarity or cleansing
It ain’t easy bein’ Green!
VS
So I recently completed my 30 days of going Vegan. Some said it couldn’t be done, but I managed to cheat only twice and boy did I pay the price for that!
In the beginning it was hard. Over the years I have learned to listen to my body; paying attention to when and what I wanted to eat. With this diet it was different then my normal ritual, I would find myself starving for hours at a time! You see, everything that I ate would take over an hour to cook, so when I would get hungry, I would have to wait for it to be ready. I started getting in the habit of cooking large batches of brown rice, quinoa, black and kidney beans so I could just scoop, add vegetables and microwave!
The first two weeks I felt really….ummm…How do I put it nicely? I felt VERY “cleaned out” on the inside. I think within the first week I lost about 3 pounds. Then I started to get lazy and found myself not eating as many greens, more rice and beans and I packed on 6 pounds. I can still remember my second day of work and fell asleep about 7 times throughout the day, the waves of tiredness attacking me while staring at the computer. My mother and I determined it was the lack of iron in my diet, mostly because of the continuous menstrual cycle and no longer eating big hunks of meat. I had to adjust and started eating tons of spinach in my breakfast and taking a multiple vitamin which caused the weight to drop and my brain to perk up. I did only cheat twice, once was with fish tacos (so worth it) and other was a big hunk of carrot cake. I will tell you I learned my lesson that night! Between the fat, oil, egg, and cream cheese frosting, I barely made it home before it all came back up. Who would have thought that my body would become so adjusted to an organic vegan lifestyle.
I really enjoyed the diet because my body was feeling good, but I hated going out to dinner. I couldn’t eat out! Do you know what it is like to order a salad then tell them to take the fun stuff off (goat cheese, chicken, bacon, etc) and try and get them to add additional items like beans, other vegetables or nuts? Sometimes my salad would end up costing me $15! Not to mention that I felt bad for the server and kitchen for having to put up with a “picky” customer!
In the end, it didn’t change anything…I still have the same problem that I started with. But luckily the new health insurance kicks in next week so I can be on the road to finding a new doctor who might be able to get to the root of the problem. I am still glad that I did it, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I will ever go back, but I now think even more about what I am consuming and how much of it. My body now craves leafy greens and fresh vegetables; that I will probably stick to being dairy free (except my favorite cheeses, goat and feta), gluten will rarely cross my path, and I view meat more like a rotting rock, sitting in my body. Don’t get me wrong, the first day out of the diet, I ate bacon, beef and chicken (tapas) but I don’t think you’ll be seeing me jumping in on a 30oz steak anytime soon. I am glad that I did it but I SO happy to being able to go into a restaurant and sit down to a “normal” meal… the foodie is back! Now, the question is, what new restaurant should I take myself to? Any places that you are looking for a review on?
Somewhere Between My Head & My Heart
Oh the joys of sitting inside my head….Have you ever found that being by yourself having time to sit inside your head can only lead to trouble?
I did such a great job over the weekend being positive and really understanding why everything happened but it wasn’t until yesterday when I spent most of the day alone inside that I had a lot of time to sit inside my head, making matters worse. I of course have to think of all the things that I did wrong in my relationship, especially being the person I am. It is a love/hate relationship with myself. I love that I am able to psycho analyze myself but sometimes I tend to over think things (just ask Tim, we’ve had MANY conversations of my thinking going way too far that I seem to get lost) and would explain this very lengthy post!
When I had finally kicked myself out into the real world (needed a few things from the store) I was walking through the store chatting on the phone with my mother and she asked me, “Why do you always date unavailable or unobtainable men?” Wow….it was something that I never really thought of, especially with all the information that I have learned about myself throughout the years, before and after therapy. But it was true! Let’s go through the list of serious relationships.
First & third – Richard/Coulter – Unavailable by location – when we first dated, he had just turned 21 and I was 17, I couldn’t go out to all the places that he was. The second time around, he REALLY was unavailable because he was either in another state or country!
Second – Jeremy – Unavailable by religion – he was Jewish and I was not. Plain and simple, cut and dry. Let’s put it this way, even though we dated for almost 3yrs, I never met his mother.
Fourth – Tim – Unavailable by age – this one I knew and kind of planned after therapy. He was recently divorced and we were both looking for someone to learn how relationships work in a healthy way. We both knew that there was no future except in friendship, which still exists.
And Last – The Man – Unavailable by emotion – This one I knew from the moment we started dating but chose to ignore due to him having EVERYTHING else I was looking for in a man. I just figured he would warm up over time.
So of course I have to ask myself the age old question of “Why?” I think that maybe I was still “testing the waters” and trying to figure out what I am looking for in a spouse. I’ve gone through a range of men, from one end of the spectrum to the other and now know what I want and need for a partner. Now it’s just a matter of finding him.
Why the rush? I have recently been thinking about this question as well. Why am I putting such pressure on myself to get married and have a child? I think it comes from a few things as I approach my 28th birthday. The day after my recent breakup I watched the movie The Back-up Plan, starring Jennifer Lopez and Alex O’Loughlin with the synopsis being “After years of dating, Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) has decided waiting for the right one is taking too long. Determined to become a mother, she commits to a plan, makes an appointment and decides to go it alone. That same day, Zoe meets Stan (Alex O’Loughlin) a man with real possibilities.”
One of the reason’s I saw this movie was a couple years ago (after my engagement) I said that by the age of 30 I was going to have a baby with or without a man. This was a great plan for me, except for the few main problems. 1 – it is VERY selfish, 2 – I am not THAT old and 3 – I have decided to go back to school so now I wouldn’t have time for school, work and a child. I always wanted to be a young mother. My mother gave birth to me at the age of 28. She always thought of herself as an older mother, so what will that make me?
I know that 28 is still very young and that women are now getting their careers in place before getting a family. But what about me? My career won’t be up and going till my mid to late thirties. I guess I am antsy. I know what I want, how to get it and what to do with it once I get it. I would hate to have all the knowledge but never get to put it into action! I have joked that I will end up an old maid with 17 cats but the truth is, it is an actual fear.
In the mean time between now and then, I need to get back to directing my energy toward other things. It is time to start volunteering and dedicating my time to other activities and stop focusing on my lack of relationships. If you remember, I used to have a “life list” (also known as a bucket list) on my website. Well I still keep that going and since moving back to Colorado, I have added many of things that I want to do in my beautiful state. Oh, and don’t worry. You will still get your fun relationship posts as my BFF Tim has recently decided to enter the dating world, so I will have plenty of fun posts along with more bar observations!
See, spend enough time inside your head and soon enough you’ll figure it all out…at least for the time being. *smiles*
Facebook Poll
With all the social media out there, our lives are open to the world at the click of a button. Whether it is Twitter or Facebook, personal information is at the tip of our fingers. We hear stories where Facebook status updates have gotten people fired or even divorced. Facebook stalking has been joked at, but what happens when you become jealous of your spouses activity?
What do you think?
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