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pancake fun!
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If only...
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Between Merida and Cancun, Mexico
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Salmon BLT Sliders with Chipotle Mayo by howsweeteats #Salmon #Bacon #Chipotle #Sliders #howsweeteats
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Lamb Sliders with Tzatziki by fotocuisine #Lamb #Sliders #fotocuisine
Q&A with KK ~ 12.07.10
Sorry I have been on hiatus, the holiday’s have been a little crazy….anyway, onto the question!
Question:
Why do straight married women think it’s not cheating if they sleep with women? And worst….why do their husband’s think it’s all ok?
Answer:
First and foremost, all joking aside, cheating is cheating.
This issue gets my blood boiling! It also reminds me of an incident with a friend of mine. She was a woman over the age of 40 yet had only slept with one person, her husband of 15+ years. We were at a dance club when my sweet innocent friend stood there on the dance floor with the most perplexed look on her face. You see, she was confused as to why women were dancing with other women, well I guess you couldn’t call it dancing but more like grinding. Legs tangled up in each other, body parts rubbing against other no-no body parts. Here are a bunch of women getting dirty with each other, but what she failed to notice was that they were doing it to attract the men. If you took a look around the circle you would see that most of the men were staring with lust, where if the men were cartoons, we would have to watch our step to avoid tripping over their tongues as they rolled across the floor.
Or we can bring up Katie Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” which pushed the girl on girl action popularity beyond that of the “college experiment”. Women are beautiful…the thought of two of them, even better. Men are visual creatures, so taking one of their favorite things; times it by two and putting them together, they are through the roof! Some women think they are exploring themselves by testing the waters with other women or they know that the thought of themselves getting excited about a member of the same sex will turn on their husband (otherwise there is a whole category of porn no one is watching).
However, I will warn you, though the thought of your wife getting it on with another woman might turn up the heat in your current relationship, you aren’t bothering to look at the big picture. This is something that will change, alter or ruin your relationship. Whether the person has a penis or a vagina, whether it is emotional or physical, cheating is still cheating. PERIOD.
A Quick Quote
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson
Vegas Birthday Bash!
My oh my! Boy, I had no idea what I was in store for on my trip to Las Vegas.
It was my birthday two weeks ago and I chose to celebrate with two of my girlfriends out in Vegas! It wasn’t a milestone birthday but I needed the break. I am SO glad that we decided to do this! (By the way, it was their birthday’s just the month prior) This was my first girl trip and I have to say that we all lucked out…there was no cattiness or drama amongst us! I couldn’t have asked for better chemistry.
While I don’t believe in the saying, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” I won’t go into the details of every day as we were there for 4 days!
Luisa and I arrived just after noon on Thursday and headed straight for the Bellagio, while waiting for Catie’s flight to arrive. Have you seen the recent commercials where they surprise the kids with a trip to Disneyland? Yeah… that’s pretty much how you can describe my excitement level. It had been so long since I had taken a vacation … I felt like I could explode inside (which would probably explain all the jumping up and down). As we arrived, it was hard for me to process everything… that an entire city is made up of hotels, not office buildings. Where in a normal city, hotels are spread out over miles but here there was one connected to the next and all shopping and stores were actually IN the hotel not separate buildings. Then there was the drinking… you didn’t have to finish your glass of wine before leaving a location, you could just pick it up and take it to the next.
The first day was filled with bonding between the three ladies, running various errands and settling into our hotel. We attempted to plan out our adventure, ok, well I guess it was more ME attempting to plan out our trip then US (cut to me in the lounge with a laptop and the other two laughing at me). There was just so much to discover and squeeze into our schedule! All three of us had ideas and things we wanted to check off our to do list. Things like going down to Freemont Street, sitting in on a Las Vegas wedding, Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum, seeing a Vegas Show, you get the idea. Well, after we (I) made the list, it pretty much went out the window from there… and instead we flew by the seat of our pants (skirts). The nights were filled with wonderful dinners and drinks, club hopping with dancing and meeting new people. Days were spent in the sun drenched pool and exploring a scene that I have never experienced.
After the four days, I think we ended up crossing off over half of our list but there are still things that I didn’t get to do like actually gamble at a table or visit some of the other hotels. But we also stumbled upon other events that I never thought would happen like the VIP pool lounge at Liquid which felt like something out of MTV Spring Break, complete with bikini clad women, dancing to the bumping beats of a DJ. In the end, I wasn’t worried about getting all the items off the list because I figure it just gives me an excuse to come back next year! Well, maybe two years, because I have some serious saving of money to do before I visit next time. Who knows… maybe it can become a regular girls getaway every year… but next time I am hoping that Ms Gretchen could join us (my “twin” who couldn’t come and her birthday is the day before mine) because who knows what other trouble we could get into!
I can’t believe it took me almost two weeks to write this but I think I needed to recover… a lot. Although I had a lot of fun, I think for the next year I will enjoy my chill Denver bars like Prime Bar or Cheeky Monk to hang with friends and save the hard partying for once a year.
Single… and Looking For a Friend
So you are probably wondering. Is this a duplicate post? Nope… just realized that The Man and I work better as friends then as a couple. Don’t worry, I’m not upset. Within the same week I also found out my ex fiancé got married. I knew both were coming. Actually, it was funny that after I learned about my ex, I also forgot about it in less than an hour, until someone called to ask me how I was doing with the news. I am happy that he found someone as he is a great guy that deserves it. Same goes for The Man. Our relationship had been drifting apart for a couple weeks so I was planning on having “the talk” anyway. Turns out so was he. It was comical, we got together last night and after pouring me a margarita, he says the words “so, we gotta talk” and the first thing that I do is laugh, get a big grin on my face and say, “Sure, go ahead”. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling since he was thinking the same thing that I was! He just is always the first one to get to the point!
When we tried our relationship again, it was absolute bliss for a few weeks, than we fell back into the same routine. We both were adjusting, not changing, but more like compromising ourselves to accommodate each other. And at some point you want to stop because it gets so tiring, you start to feel like you are going crazy and want nothing more than to feel like yourself! There was nothing bad about our relationship; it just was kind of there, floating along…more like a friendship. So we tried and it didn’t work.
I am thankful he came into my life and is still there. He got me interested in things like sports, country music and reading again. He also was able to open my eyes to view the world in a different way. I enjoyed that I was able to teach him things like expanding his pallet even though I don’t think he found eating as pleasurable as I do!
Since he is still my friend, it’s not like I won’t ever see him again. What I will miss (as selfish as it sounds) is the permanent date. Might have been one of the reasons we didn’t break up sooner. Knowing that I had a something to do with someone every Saturday will be missed. I hate the fact that I don’t have a guaranteed companion to explore and experience new things while still being able to enjoy the company. If I could, I would place an ad for a best friend and it would read something like this: SWF looking for female to be platonic friends. Must like company & enjoy fun activities besides getting buzzed at a bar. Willing to accompany me on vacations & dinner outings. Pleasurable conversation a must! I will let you know how that goes but I think I am better off waiting for the friend store to open so I can buy one!
Now I have to go off on my own again, being a single girl. Why is that such a scary thing? Why is being alone so bad? IT ISN’T but it is always nice to have someone to be with. Maybe I might sign up for SINGLES IN THE 303…maybe… but for right now, I think I will go back to being myself. This means going out to dinner alone, volunteering, getting back to ballet & tap classes and spending time with all of my coupled girlfriends when they have the time. Plus school starts up in a couple weeks so my hours not spent at work will be filled with hours of completing homework and studying. Perhaps I could put together a core group of girlfriends, something that I never have had as they always seem to be males, and go from there. I am also due for a vacation as I believe my last official one was my engagement trip. I have been itch’n to go somewhere, it just doesn’t help that all the deals seem to be for Vegas, a place I have never been however, always a place to go with your closest friends…never by yourself. Maybe I will hit up a beach in Florida or California on my own first then save Las Vegas for my birthday in October. In the mean time, I am going to finish unpacking my box of toiletries and such that once lived under The Man’s sink and get on with the rest of my day… and life.
Is it all worth it in the end?
Most of you know that I have been battling the disease Endometriosis for a while, and now as I approach my 10 year anniversary of my diagnosis, I am struggling. I will forewarn you now, that if you don’t want to read about “women problems”, I would recommend that you stop reading here.
Just to recap, in 2001 I went under the knife, via laparoscopy, to have the endometrial tissues cauterized off my ovaries and other various places. After the surgery, I went through nine months of hormone therapy, using Lupron-Depot shot which was the first time that I experienced menopause. In 2008, the endometriosis started to rear its ugly head and I went through another nine month session of menopause, filled with the glorious hormone rollercoaster, hot flashes and irritability. Now here it is, 2010 and my body is deciding to change.
I have been taking birth control bills continuously for the past ten years, this means having my period only 3-4 times a year. Unfortunately it costs me an arm and a leg ($60 every 3 weeks) but never having my period means that the tissue never gets a chance to grow. The past two months have been a doozy! My hormones are out of whack; my face is breaking out, I have mood swings and the bleeding. The constant bleeding… In the past, I have been able to solve the problem by doubling up on pills or by going off of them for a week to have a full period. This solved it for about 3 days, only for it to start up again. I went to my OB-GYN and had about 6 tests done. And now I have to wait for the results. I hate waiting for results! I did hear back that my thyroid is fine and I’m not anemic but I almost wish there was something wrong, so at least I could have an answer! Instead I have to wait for the results from the biopsy hoping that they found a problem in that, but if they don’t, we begin even more tests with more waiting…
The question that I face is now and again is, is it all worth it in the end? Is the pain and frustration, the surgeries and bleeding for months on end, all worth it? Should I continue on in the hopes that my uterus will be able to able to carry a child? That my ovaries are even capable of releasing an egg? I want to be a mother more than anything, but how do I know I am supposed to give birth to a child? I know it seems silly to be under the age of 30 and questioning whether or not to get a hysterectomy, but this is a question that I ask myself all the time (usually when riding the wave of the emotional rollercoaster). My mother (who also has endometriosis) always says it’s worth it, because that is how she got me. My eyes begin to water just by writing those words. How can I ask whether or not to keep my uterus when my poor mother put her body through hell to be able to give birth to my brother and me? I know I am one of the lucky ones. My mother and many other women out there have had it much worse. I am lucky to have caught this so early in life before the repercussions of endometrial growth could have taken over my organs and possibly been forced to have an oversized uterus removed.
I don’t know what the future holds for me and my female parts, but I do know that I have to have faith and trust that everything happens for a reason. Whether I am given the wonderful gift of being able to give birth to a child made from my own genes or blessed with a baby that was born from a different womb or just being Aunt Kristen to all the little ones of family and friends, I must trust that it is worth the pain and frustration that I endure now. So now I must wait…have faith…and patience…
Dating, Seeing or Sleeping?
Almost every time that I talk with one of male friends, one of the first questions that I ask him is “Dating, seeing or sleeping with anyone new?” The truth is, for a single person in my age group, you are usually doing one of the three things or none of the above. As scary as it might seem to hear this to those that are older and married, this is reality. If you are not a virgin or in a committed relationship, you find yourself hopping from bed to bed, in the hopes of finding a partner that interests you in some way (depending on what exactly you would like stimulated). Your friends that are in a relationship don’t understand why you don’t just settle down with someone and your single friends that are choosing not to bounce from bed to bed, don’t understand what the purpose is. Is this really the only “in-between” option for us? What if you don’t have time for a relationship but don’t want to have casual sex?… I believe they would call that a friendship
Definitions (per me)
Sleeping – exactly what it sounds like. It is a purely sexual relationship and nothing more. Also know as a “friend with benefits”
Seeing – you have meet with this person a few times, and haven’t decided what direction it is going to go from here. It can turn into a sleeping or dating relationship from this point. You might have had a make-out session or two, but the relationship is just only starting to bud
Dating – you enjoy this persons company along with finding them sexually attractive. You have been seeing them for a while now and probably because you respect this person, you have chosen not to “seal the deal” just yet because you are curious to see where it goes and have found your once empty time is now filled with this person.
Now that we have established that, is it possible to go from a lust relationship to a real relationship filled with love and respect? Let’s say you have known a person for a while and started a physical relationship, is it possible to move into a rounded healthy relationship? If you built the relationship on something other than sex in itself like friendship, then yes, it has potential. But if what you have built it on is purely sexual attraction then the possibilities are slim. I am not saying the relationship isn’t capable of growing, but let’s just be honest. It doesn’t have the best track record.
In the end, it doesn’t matter what type of relationship that you are in, as long as YOU are happy. If you have taken a step back and noticed that you are not, then it is time to look inside yourself. It may sound cheesy, but how can you love someone else, if you can’t love yourself? I bet you, that if you start focusing on yourself things will just happen. Whether you are doing things that you enjoy and redirecting your energy internally or as basic as working on that project at work, it will all change the situation. That is why they usually say that love happens when you least expect it.
So whatever your current relationship position, I wish you the best!
Authors note: If you feel you need help or guidance, don’t be afraid to contact me. I will also start a forum on this topic so don’t be afraid to post, it can be completely anonymous.